It’s been about three weeks since the Family Constellations workshop where I faced a fear of losing someone while also wanting and declaring my desire to be fully present in my current relationship. We aren’t supposed to speak about the Constellations for at least a week after the workshop because allows the energy that’s been moved to settle in and take hold for the intentions and changes that were consciously manifested. The changes that I request in family constellation sessions are deep desires that I wouldn’t normally bring up over drinks and discuss casually with a bunch of acquaintances. So it’s a little strange for me to be sharing this in a public forum – whether 2 or 2000 people read about this. But I decided to share this experience openly in an effort promote Family Constellations as a healing modality because I’ve realized it is not a widely known modality despite it’s immense power and efficiency. At the recent workshop, a number of participants had asked why Family Constellations isn’t more well-known because they felt it was extremely healing. I don’t know why it isn’t more widely known like the Reiki modality but I’m going to make an effort through this blog to let people know how positive and life-changing Family Constellations are.
I mentioned that in the workshop I faced a fear of losing someone while also wanting to be more present in my current relationship. What was going on for years is a deep love for a man who is not my husband. I had met that man (we’ll call him John) many years ago and I developed a very deep connection with. When I met him, I was in my first marriage. John was also married at the time. We had a working relationship but not a direct one so I would not see him often. However, whenever we saw one another the attraction was magnetic and very intense. It was actually scary how intense it was. We never acted on what we felt but both of us sensed the attraction, so we avoided one another most of the time. Eventually, he divorced. Then I divorced. And when he found out I was divorcing, his reaction was quite ecstatic. We began speaking very regularly during that time and he offered his friendship and support more openly. I was thrilled and felt very comfortable and comforted. But as soon as John and I started to gather a rhythm to our friendship and communications, my life took another turn. I relocated for a job during and the connection John and I shared entered another phase. A very quiet one. We kept in touch very briefly via email as we had common professional acquaintances. Years later, we reconnected again but that was fleeting. Nothing of significance occurred. And even a few more years had passed and I married another man. A man whom I love dearly and who treasures me in a way that I’ve never experienced. I am very lucky and grateful.
There was one underlying issue that would crop up from time to time. John, the man from my past kept popping up in my present – in my dreams. This had been going on for years. But after I married, I pushed John away very consciously in my heart and soul. He lives in another state and has his own life. However, he still kept popping up in my dreams. We would be chatting away catching up on life. One time cuddled up in a hammock looking out at the the ocean. So many emotions and ideas and intentions were shared in this dreamscape. After some meditation on the matter, I decided to consult one of my primary healers. She was my Reiki healer who has a very deep intuition. We tried two approaches to disconnect me from John. Oh, did I mention that John and I have shared many past lives? Neither of the approaches to disconnect from John worked because I kept dreaming about him. It was causing me great distress because it was distracting me from my marriage. I deeply love John but I, also, deeply love my husband. I have had numerous past lives with both but… I made the decision to be married to my husband and to build my life with him. And John was not in my conscious presence. I really did not appreciate him coming into my dreamtime talking to me about various things and reminding me how much I love and miss him. This was a very gut-wrenching process for me. My awareness of my emotions is very high and I do my best to be present in every moment of my day. To have someone pull on very long and strong heart-strings on a regular basis caused great angst and confusion. Eventually I scheduled a Tarot reading with my other psychic healer, Eric Lopez. Eric and I have been working together for almost a year. He came highly recommended by a friend of mine whose chronic hormone condition of many years was healed by Eric via a Family Constellation session. Eric is a shaman. He is an energy healer who is extremely in tune with The Source.
So far, Eric is the most powerful and effective healer I’ve met. Not only because of his massive gifts but also because he is able to remove his ego from his healing work – so messages are accurate and the proper healing approaches are provided. I consulted with Eric on this matter about John and he was able to see how strong the connection is between us. He also knows how much love is shared between me and my husband. He suggested that I deal with this situation at a Family Constellations workshop. I was afraid to do this in front of so many people, but most of all in front of my husband. I was concerned my husband might think I was secretly in love with this other man. He knew about John and the general nature of the relationship but he did not know this man from my past effectively haunted me in my sleep – coming in very often to chat and catch up on life. I didn’t know how to deal with this other than head-on and very truthfully but, again, I was very frightened of how the situation would be perceived. How I would be perceived. It’s not easy explaining this strange connection with people. But I trusted that everything would work out fine. And so I released my fear about the situation and focused on my intention to be fully present in my marriage to the beautiful soul who is my husband.
A couple of days before the Family Constellations Workshop, I told my husband what my intention for my individual constellation would be. But before I did, I explained to him that part of my heart was still being held by another man. My husband had very few questions for me and was very calm and supportive. I felt truly blessed. By the time I had to perform my individual constellation with the group at the workshop, I felt fully supported by the Universe. It’s not to say the awkwardness of having to lay-out the situation when presenting my intention to the group had disappeared but… it all worked out. The constellation itself was extremely powerful, no surprise. Interestingly, the person I chose to participate in my constellation also needed to heal from a previous relationship that didn’t come to fruition. Again… based upon my experience with Family Constellations that was no surprise. What IS a surprise to me – it ALWAYS is, is how the Universe brings strangers together in these constellations to heal from similar situations. I was so present in my constellation that I forgot there was a group of individuals holding space for me and supporting me with their love that I did not notice everyone at the workshop was in tears. I was told by a few people afterward that there wasn’t a dry eye in the house and that many people were bawling as they witnessed my effort to release John from my present. One person compared the constellation to the pivotal scene in The Notebook. Haha, I love it. I LOVE FAMILY CONSTELLATIONS!!!! The healing is so powerful with this modality and so efficient. Months and years of traditional psychotherapy can be eliminated with one Family Constellation session. Seriously. Oh, did I mention a weird irregular heartbeat was healed by Family Constellations for me last year? I’ll have to share that one later.